Anonymous asks…..
I hate being sober. Nothing about life feels like it matters if I am not drunk. I don’t like doing things I used to. It all just sucks now. I don’t know what I am looking for here but I don’t like how I feel.
Dear Anonymous,
It all sucks and here you are! I am willing to embrace you and send a few jokes your way. “How many drunks does it take to screw in a lightbulb?” 4; One to hold the bulb and 3 to drink until the room spins. Did you smile? No? Hmm well, I probably didn’t either early on. I probably would have told myself to fuck off.
In my experience, most people don’t turn to addiction because everything in life is great. There are outliers of people who become addicted by other means, but research strongly suggests most people with these issues have experienced some level of trauma. Quitting drinking is just leaving you with the original problem you were masking to begin with. Until I acknowledged why I was drinking to blackout, I stayed in a cycle of relapse.
Extended rehab was a great option for me to learn how to live sober. When I came home, I had learned many techniques for managing stress in safer ways. I also came home connected to some wonderful people. A huge part of my alcoholism was because it helped me to feel relatable to other people, at least enough to see that people can live happily in sobriety.
Are you connected with any recovery programs? AA, Secular AA, SMART, Lifering, etc? Do you see a mental health specialist? It is normal to feel depressed after quitting any drug but if this is something you struggled with before you reached a level of problematic drinking, it could be life changing to see a professional. Putting down the bottle is just dry, not recovery. Nothing changes if nothing changes.
Do you have a question?
email me!
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