“I find it quite ironic that the most dangerous
Bill murray
thing about weed is getting caught with it.”
I moderate a recovery group on Facebook called, Stoned Sober. It is a community of 3K+ people who support the use of cannabis while living “sober”. I frequent a few other canna-friendly recovery groups while on media and the number of members questioning the validity of their own sobriety due to bud use is maddening. I am biased; but here is my general definition of recovery: Did you decide not to be a fucked up idiot today? Cool.
Most resources will subscribe to an abstinence-based approach for maintaining boundaries with destructive drug use. From my own experience, I had to quit drinking alcohol (Big Book of AA, pg. 30). I tried to moderate as a means for correcting the instability alcohol brought into my life but I failed every time, thus, my diagnosis of “alcoholic”.
But, what does sober or abstaining mean exactly? All drugs and alcohol or just the one(s) that I have a problem with? I didn’t crash my car, have sex with your husband or get lost without shoes during a snowstorm this cold Sunday evening, but I did rip my bong into tomorrow to feel less overwhelmed by life. Am I sober? Fuck yes, I am. Fight me! Actually, don’t because I am not drunk and would rather just have a snack and mind my own business. To thine own self be true. Says it right on top of the medallion they gave me.
In the chapter, More About Alcoholism, the Big Book reads, “Science may one day accomplish this (cure), but it hasn’t done so yet.” (B.B. pg. 31, 1939). Alcoholics Anonymous, and the Big Book, got me sober. It is the foundation of my recovery and I am forever grateful to the organization’s bottom line – help a suffering alcoholic. But, AA also gave me the clarity to question their unevolved, WWII era, advice. As an alcoholic in recovery and as someone who received a degree in Substance Abuse, it is fully acceptable and admired for anyone who can resolve their addiction dilemma using new age methods. I support modern advances towards happier and healthier communities. (ie: blockers, marijuana, hallucinogens, EMDR, Reiki, etc.)
This is not my free pass for anybody to use, “just a little bit”. I am not encouraging or endorsing anyone do or not do anything suggested in any of the programs or organizations dedicated to healing addiction. I am not in control of anybody else or their recovery. Even as a former AA sponsor, it wasn’t my job to tell my sponsees how to recover. I share how I recovered from my own abyss. I provide my experience, strength and hope to someone else that doesn’t believe they can ever feel at peace sober.
Try my way, try His way, try their way, her way, AA way, just try.
Eventually you will find your way as long as you keep trying.
How Marijuana Can Help Treat Addictions to Opioids, Other Rx Drugs and Alcohol
I wrote this in Stoned Sober on 4.20.2022……
What 420 means to me –
I get to smoke bongs. It is okay to recreationally use if it’s a known international holiday, right? The other 364 days we can just pretend that I am a deranged, addicted outlaw that chases whiskey and husbands. Just kidding, we all know that I hate leaving my house.
But 13 years ago, I was a deranged, addicted outlaw that chased (or didn’t) tequila and spouses (definitely did this one). I was a sick and suffering alcoholic and everything I touched was poisoned. For years. I just wanted to die drunk. I Never thought I would live to see my 30’s. It took me a long time to get to my current mid sixes (years sober). One thing that stayed constant was marijuana.
There are days I eat, a lot, but I probably needed to eat because I forgot.
There are days I leave an indent on the couch, but I am a single mother and a perfectionist and honestly, sometimes I need a reason to just sit down and be quiet.
There are days that I am forgetful. I can’t remember if that is also a PTSD, TBI or ADHD problem 🙄😝
There are days I can’t drive high, so I never drive high.
There are days I am up until 3am binge watching TV. Are you a single mom with a 3 year old? Leave me alone.
The point is, the things weed gets a bad rep for are all problems that I have regardless. The pot makes it tolerable. It makes me not want to kill myself like the last methods I have tried. It gives me hope and inspiration.
When I had Em, I went through the process, ahem, I paid the piper to be a legal user. The prices being impossible in NYS led me to growing my own. Growing is a wonderous process of patience and love; particularly for someone who can kill an aloe plant. There is something in my heart healing in the process of nurturing and growing my own medicine. Single Mom Hack: growing will not save you a lot of money on your car insurance, but I do have one less asshole to pay (no offense if any of my dealers are in here 👋)
Successfully growing my own medicine gave me the encouragement to grow some food this year – a long term sustainability goal of mine.
I love weed. I will Always Love It. My bare bones to be wrapped in hemp and tossed into an orchard level of love for this plant. I like to smoke it, eat it, drink it, smell it, squeeze it, poke it, make jokes about it and live out loud. I am proud of my recovery and cannabis is the catalyst.
So why a holiday? If I smoke bongs anyway then why do I need 420 to celebrate?
Because today I smoke bongs in my fave PJ pants, order takeout and spend $100 on snacks.
Call it my Lazy Day.
Not sorry.
